It's been a while has it...
I'm not even sure if you will be reading this but I want to take this chance to close something in here, inside of me.
It's been years since we last talk. Since we last met. I am not sure how I will react as I think of the words to tell you. I know things are different now and I don't want to change anything in my life as you have as well. We have different lives, better even if I can say for you. You're in a great place, far from all of the troubles that may come. And I am so happy for you.
As I write this letter, I want to close a part of my life and finally say, "It's over."
I recall that day when you said, there's nothing more. I did not cry, I don't know why I didn't but I felt nothing then. I knew it would come eventually but when someone told me, you did not look happy at that time, and when you hoped we could have fixed the thing between us, I suddenly felt my heart break. And for that long period of time, I finally cried. It took so long to feel the pain and yet why has it took this long. I seldom recall the part of walking the entire road alone, thinking it was over just like that.
What was the reason? I asked myself. Did I do something wrong? Did I take long? Was I not a better person?
I always think of those questions even now. And I told myself, I was not a better person for you. I was a nobody even then and even now. I had nothing to give. I'm so sorry if I was a nobody. Until now I am trying to cope with my own failures and strive to give my family a better future even if it costs me.
Funny thing came into my mind right now, I used to recall how we would send emails to each other just to simplify the love letters we send to each other. It's a funny memory worth keeping and yet I had to let go.
I loved you... all is in the past.
For me, I have to let go. It's as painful as yesterday but I know you would tell me the same thing. The long painful wait has to end. I wish you all the best. That's all I can say and somehow, if we do meet again, all I want to see is that sweet smile... Thank you.
