"Things change... people do also..."

I took me long to notice i wasn't able to log anything yesterday. But I think things will be going well for me and you know who. I just have to prove I am worth her love. that is. I have to change my actual way of living in order for her to accept me. Well right now, while typing this, I miss her. As of forever, she is a big part of me. I really want to be with her. I have to change styles, attitude, a lot. But if it's worth it, i have too. I never actually changed my attitude before but i guess this will be first. Oh one more thing, my money has not come in yet!. I'm flat broke! Got no more money but just ticket to go home. Poor me. Must learn to save also. But with regards to this, i am hoping to win her heart, even it costs me. She it that important to me, neh. I am smiling as of now, thinking I won't be ehem might be no longer alone. With all the internet sites offering me to meet people, i had some but thinking they are so far away, how can i meet them. So i'm sticking to her. she's worth all the time in the world for me. And i believe she is.

People say they cannot change. yes things change, seasons change, people don't according to some philosophy of man. But there will always be a time for everyone to turn from bad to good, better to best. We just have to find it in our heart to accept this changes. We cannot deny the fact we have our bad part of the apple. We have done to show we are human so we need to change and work on that bad part and be good to where we are not weak. If you are holding on to an old relationship, grow up from it. you'll find better men and who knows. Maybe this guy is the right who'll treat you right. If you're a failure in math, study. We need to change sometimes. Not for the worst but for the better so not only you who gets to become great and admires yourself, a lot of people will also enjoy your company and you yourself will be admired by others...

"They said love is always there... and it is."

Maybe I was jumping to an early conclusion. Right I am in love of someone but she keeps pushing me back. I want to know why. Maybe I was fast but I wanted her to know me better. I wanted her to see me as who I am now not who I am not. I wanted to let her know how much she means to me. But I was hoping maybe I'd find out why first she would not let me. You see, she thinks its a dare practically. But to me its no more. I'd fallen for the prize. I may sound stupid but the truth is, i did fell for the girl. I never thought that I'd still be thinking that's its just a dare but It's not anymore. I really wanted to be in love with her. As much as I could. I wanted to give everything I could and let her know how much she means to me and how much it would mean to me that she'd accept me. Proving to her was the difficult thing. Showing her was easy, proving was the hard part. I guess I am not a casanova that many women would just adore but I'm not. I'm just a simple innocent man wandering. ehem, wondering. but now, I'm taking steps on how to let her know I really want to be with her with all my life and heart.

Maybe there is always time for love. We love at times, we hate at times. We just find times at each moment but to love a person or to share love is always there. There wasn't a time you never loved someone with all your heart. You always sacrificed the greatest you have for that love. and you gave everything you had for that moment to last. from smiles, tears to joy to sorrow and yet it lasted in your mind and heart. You should always love according to a philosopher who I forgot but he said, "It is not to late to love for love takes no time or place. It's just us who make it happen where and when we want it." He was right on that part. It's just us who make it happen. Why not just fall in love? Why not let yourself be taken? We're afraid. Afraid to be hurt to cry. It's normal they say. Even a man cries once in a while. I admit. I cried for love one time. I lost the love I wished would never end. I wanted to end my life back then. But someone told me, its not just one. its all. Its al who you love. You love one person yet you don't know someone also loves you. and maybe then, i'll be strong to love again and maybe this time its my chance. Take a chance, it will hurt but it will teach you how to feel loved always.

"You grow as time fly... You grow as you journey by... You will grow when you finally face reality as your own..."

I think we do all need to grow. Its just that some of us won't accept growing. I've met different people had different acquintances and all which had become older or mature than I am. I keep thinking about the day I'll grow old and mature. Somehow, I keep on thinking maybe I will but it will take time. Somehow I am concerned about a friend, actually a couple right now. I admit I am envious of them as of now cause they have each other and I only have myself. But its ok. You win some, you lose some. They're in a ditch right now. Her parents would not accept her having a serious relationship would not be accepted. Why is that? I could do something but the man told me not to interfere. So I will not. But I guess I should not. They are teenagers and I think they are adults now and they know what they should do. I will not intervene and I applaud there strength to hold on to each others hearts. You see, it is when two people meet their challenge, their relationship grows stronger and the more they will love each other if they overcome this together. I can't do anything but watch.

Do we grow or mature? We both. We grow physically and mature emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We just can't stop it. As we pass every experience we could, we learn and know more about life. It's secrets, its pains, its challenges. We smile sometimes at Life when we see it. We learn to accept it. It's just that we can't believe it sometimes why this is this and why that is that. It's your life to take care, its your heart to watch for. You feel them once in a while and meet its terms. I smile each moment as I write this because i know I had my part of it. I learned and out grew loved then. I had no more time for it as of now. I'm just happy to be able to witness it in my life. When I had a chance back then. I guess like i said before, you do win some, you do lose some. This is my life, I chose it to be this way. I can still teach others about life. And I guess I too had grown...