Storms, politics, religions and other whatnots...

I'm the least person you'd expect that would comment on what has happened to my country...

This post is not intended for those with "OA" patriotism for the country or is intended to hurt, label, anger the public. It is my thoughts and thoughts alone. I'm just venting out. If you have anything against my blog, go find something else to read.

It's been a week since the super typhoon "Yolanda" visited my country. Pictures, news and reports of how the typhoon destroyed the land, its people and changed the lives of many are everywhere. Furthermore, some of the news are so bad that it pains me that all I can do is give what I can give, cash and a few of my old personal belongings (clothes actually). But a greater worry comes in mind:

"Where is the cash donation of the other countries that were reported?"

I have not heard of news of how this monetary donation have been used or spent. Or was it even used properly? Apparently thanks to the storm, a larger, nation-wide issue had been set-aside and the people that should be grilled are having a party of their own. We've forgotten that we, hard working employees of both private and public offices are rob of our taxes. The funny part thou is that, its only when someone finally squealed, it is the only time we actually realize it. If my memory serves me right, from the reign of the first Aquino up to the current Aquino, we've been rob by those we elected as public officials. My boss often reminds me, "Why complain now? We've been robbed since and yet why are we just complaining now?"

True. Why just now? I can't say anything. I am but one person and if I were to complain, would the government even listen. The justice system in this country is screwed. And what scares me now is that the monetary donations given by good countries may also end up in the pockets of those officials we oh-so believe are working for the people. I have so many things to rant about our government, of how f**ked up it is. I even believe right now that those that should be jailed and convicted will escape happily. Another failure to place on the history of the Filipinos. Again, if we go and review the history of the philippines, there are a lot of questions about the government. And again I would point out that it doesn't happen only in the Philippines. There are other countries that had worst. But it pains me that it will be recorded against us once again.

Yes I know, Filipinos have their greatness but not why is outside of their own country. Have you not noticed that Filipinos are becoming well known, not inside their country but outside? CNN said something nice about filipinos (go google it). Other countries welcome Filipinos open arms because of the tenacity and hard working attitude and are loved by other nationalities because of their welcoming attitude.

Arguably, I don't know where this country is going to. You have Crab Mentality at its finest. Truth be told, we are the people who had shown this negative attitude far more than any other countries. You have corruption far worst than anything else. You have power hungry and abusive politicians running and winning amidst their ugly track record. Take note, you even have someone with less brains (experimented candidate) seated on one of the most influential seats in the government. I curse the day that person won. Why!?!

Even religion is an issue. I'm happy thou that someone from "one" particular religion stated that the allegations about a certain person who condemn another religion will be prosecuted by their religious leaders. Happy to hear that. I'm happy that they, themselves, are thought to be humble. Which should be the attitude of every man.

I'm just ranting at the moment and with things are, I'm more worried for my fellow countrymen. Left and right, you'd see facebook post ranting of how the government is handling the situation. And after this, the original issue will be forgotten. Their goes our justice system... I do hope they don't forget the "other" matter at hand.

Well I will close this entry with a few more words:
1. I pray the people in those highly affected countries survive and receive the aid they so needed
2. Wake up Filipino Government! Where is your remaining humanity?
3. Drop differences in religion for a moment and instead be human. Do the humane thing...

Thanks for reading...

The Story of Us...

 I'm not sure where to start but let's begin with how the day started for me.

Woke up early this morning and somehow I already feel like today might be different. Well not that special that is. Before going to work I did something that someone was expecting me to do eventually... I posted a picture on my facebook account relating to my marriage, my wedding picture with my wife. I was thin back then so can't argue with that. As of the time I am typing this, I believe I have at least 45 likes from friends of mine and hers. 

Anyhow, going to the topic, I am trying to recall the story behind of how we met and we got married and all. It's like one of those sitcoms, "how i met your mother?" but with only less women in the story involved... or so I speak (winks).

It may have all started around 2001. My parents have been pestering me to get a job as I am a freeloader at that moment. So having the access to the internet I decided to apply online on some jobs available and posted over the net. I applied to an agency (JobsDB) and landed my job as Team Lead for a call center. Big Break for me as I was expecting to get an agent level job.My parents were excited as well and somehow finally I can help with the house expenses. A month long training on "correct english accent" and another month on product training, we were on our way to a professional career. I have to admit my position as a team lead didn't go as what I wanted as it was my first job and I am not that of a people person by then. A few months on the job and somehow I was leaning to this girl who happens to be one of my agents. After a short scuffle with the guy whose also after him, I decided not to fall in love for awhile.

That got cut short when an old flame decided to get in touch with me. I was then now confident seeing I have a job to back me up with my goal of being with her once again but somehow our communication got cut off again. Another month passed, a new batch of agents arrive (i'm such a bad employee and hitting on agents that are below me). Moving forward, I started hitting on this petite girl. She was nice. Cute in her own way. But a little moody at times. She was the first person who helped me buy a cellphone, my very first cellphone. We were hitting it off good but somewhere along the road, I got shutdown. I was expecting it, knowing what she told me about her past. While I was actually hitting at her, there was this obnoxious, irritating tomboy of a girl who would often interfere every time I would visit this girl I was hitting on. Apparently this tomboy was to be my wife. We were the worst of enemies. We would argue, bicker and like grab each other to the throat. Everyone wanted to hand us anything sharp as to end our petty arguments.

I was then informed by one of my agents that this "woman", quote on quote, I now call her "woman", has a past that got me intrigue. She was a single parent. Ok? Single parent... so what does it have to do with me? I'm not sure then or what happened but along the long and lonely road, I ended up visiting her place and meeting her parents. I do recall we talked and started mellowing to each other. But me visiting her place... something I am not. Ok, I'm old school. I court the parents before her... and before you know it... 12 years had passed. She is now my wife.

Can't argue with that.

We've had our ups and downs. Arguments, fights and almost broke up a couple of times but whenever I think of the reason why I married her, I always go back to her. I won't tell what it is. There's actually more to the 12 years that had passed and more stories to tell but I'll put that on another time. Again, thanks for listening. 

Remembering a few important things...

I'm at work right now and waiting for the next big thing to happen. As I checked a few items in my personal email, I decided to explore a bit further regarding google's additional features. And there I bumped to an important person's blog. She mentioned:

when i was still younger there is someone who is really special to me gave me a copy of this song recorded in a cassette tape.

I recalled that song and unexpectedly started humming to the tune. It was an old game song, way way back college years. A song, I hope would always be a reminder why I always looked at her that way. But fate had something different planned and what the future we hoped for didn't come true.

Turns out sooner or later, we had different lives. I got married first, then she got married. Further into the future, she left the country while I stayed humbly with my work. I now have a big family and hoping each day becomes better and always happy for us. There's ups and downs but who can complain, that's life.

I would be lying if I say I am contented but I am not. My family has needs that I need to fulfill before I can say I am content. I need to be a good provider and be able to ensure my family will always have something. On the other end, emotionally, I am. I happily in love and loved by my family.

But enough about that, back to the song and to the person. One thing I am doing right now, when I have a free time is I am finishing the last, and hopefully the last story of the fiction story I wrote years ago I shared with her. It would be the closing story between us. It would depict the current lives we live but with a twist. Hopefully it gets done soon.

As for the song, I have a song that reminds me of my wife. A song I shared to her as well that reminds me that our love would remain even through the longest length of time. So I leave everyone with the song of me and my wife. Something that was played during our wedding...

    Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
    For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
    To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
    Melodies of life--love's lost refrain
     
    Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
    We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
    And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
    Let them ring out loud till they unfold
    In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
    Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name
     
   * A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
     Adding up the layers of harmony
     And so it goes, on and on
     Melodies of life,
     To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond
     
    So far and away, see the bird as it flies by
    Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
    I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
    Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings
     
    In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
    Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
     
   * Repeat
     
    If I should leave this lonely world behind
    Your voice will still remember our melody
    Now I know we'll carry on
    Melodies of life
    Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
    As long as we remember

My thanks for reading.

The boy who dreams to be a hero... did become a "Hero"...

so I did manage to become a hero... Just for one day thou.

I finally did it. I was able to fulfill another dream. But later about the dream, let me tell you how it was today for me and for my son. It was just the two of us who went to the Toycon. Well, a few friends did go with us. As soon as we arrived, there wasn't much people. Not much in costumes. By 11 AM then people start to crowd. It was time to transform... So I wore the suit. And the moment I came out of the dressing room, people start asking for pictures. A few kids here and there were afraid of me but a few also stood up and took pictures with me. It was a really fun experience. Parents, who were at my age, knew who I was and they would call my character to get a picture. It was a fun experience.

But what really made me happy was during the middle of the day, you could hear people saying, "That guy was my idol, he was my hero." I am happy for playing this character as somehow, it made me wish i was indeed the hero people look up too. I wanted to be hero. I really felt tired after all this, but seeing people smiling, posing beside me, having their picture taken, it was more than I can ask for. I am glad that I was able to make them smile today and make them recall their childhood which most of us tend to forgot nowadays. 

I was at my highest happiness today. I think nothing can top this for now. 

Back to the dream... as to sum it up, it's not too late to do what you want to do as a child. It will fill that gap that you have. I want to impart to all those that regardless of age, as long as their as time, as long as their is will, you can always achieve your childhood dream. It is never too late.

I am happy to be a hero. And I will always try to be a hero to my family and friends. They are the ones that give me strength. And again... thank you too for reading!

As time goes, so does my time...

I don't want to grow old and forget things...

As I sat at my office chair, thinking of the future, I recall two things that I don't want to happen to me when I reach that age:
- I don't want to grow old alone...
- I don't want to forget anything...

Of the two things, the second scares me most. Currently I have a loving wife and 2 wonderful children. Thou one is not mine, I think of him as my son. My eldest son. Leaving me to believe I am not alone when I grow old. But still, my life since I was a child up to the very moment I am putting my mind into words, I have live in the comfort of being alone. I go out alone, I would work alone and stay on a lonely cube, looking at the window, wondering what the next day would bring. I hardly go out with friends or even casually hang out with office mates. As if the world outside did not exist for me. As I go home, I am alone with no one to converse about the day. But as soon as I arrive at home, I have my kids to comfort me, and my wife to hug me and welcome me home. So far, that eases the worry and nightmare of being alone...

But what scares me now is that, one day, I'd wake up, not knowing my family only my name. Not knowing, who they are and what they have become. It scares me. I want to recall the first time my daughter and I went out. The first time I met my eldest son. The first time, I kissed my wife.

I want to keep those inside my head. But as I grow old, I tend to forget things now. I don't show signs of the illness but the forgetfulness is beginning to creep underneath and make me feel that I am losing a lot in my life, my past and my present. And if I lost both, I lose my future. I am scared. Deeply scared.

But you can fight time? Time is the only thing no one can ever beat. Not even with the greatest technology that medicine has, the unique me will never be cloned, or recreated. Not even reborn as I am. Time is the ultimate enemy of any man. It is what consumes most people. They say time is gold and so it is. For now, I want to make as much memories as I could and try to keep them inside. But I know sooner or later, they will fade. Pictures might keep them safe but the feeling itself, recalling in your mind, every detail, every sensation, I know would be gone sooner or later. This is life. This is how it is.

Again, my thanks for listening...

2013... What comes next... Everybody finds their place sooner or later...

Song: Sakura Nagishi
Sung by: Utada Hikaru

"Everybody finds love... in the end..."

I type today's blog under this song with also a few websites loading of videos from a very touching series of Thai Insurance Commercials. As I also found this song, the lyrics told me this important lesson in life:


Watching flowers just blossomed fall
“Too early, this year” you said,
In disappointment, regret
And you were beautiful

If you could see me now
I wonder what you would think
Me, living without you

Everybody finds love
In the end

If you could hear the newborn’s cry,
Sound and healthy
Ringing in the town you protected
I know you would be so pleased
The footsteps that continue after us

Everybody finds love
In the end

I can’t believe that I’ll never see you again
I haven’t told you anything yet
I haven’t told you anything yet

Watching flowers just blossomed fall
The trees stood by, helpless

However great the fear, I will not look away
If at the end of everything, there is love

I had found love before from someone dear to me and I want to make this year, something for her to be happy for me. And I am happy for her too. It's just that, all I know is that we were never meant to be.

Moving further to this year, I somehow understood a few important facts in life: to every great comfort, I would need to sacrifice something. As I talked with the wife regarding this, I think we both agreed, we have to let go of one of our comforts to reach our goal this year. We're planning to visit a place soon and finally see if this is our home to be. And I hope, we do find it this time. I'm taking the risk. And the risk is small but the results of the risk is big for both of us as it will comfort our lives greater. This comfort can come back later if God allows.

The year ends for me with the thoughts of what has happened to me this 2012, all the smiles and laughs, all the tears and pain I have seen and felt. Lost relatives, remembering the past, giving up friends. It's the cycle of life as it shows it. I pray to God sincerely that this year, I give my family what they ask so badly of me.

I'll try to add more details for this post hopefully tomorrow, I can detail all of my thoughts for 2012. Again, if you read this, thanks for listening. It's just a husband's hope.