Day 15: A long-short weekend

Song: Unlimited Sky Sung by: Tommy Heavenly6

Well I am still dredging at the fact that I might go home alone and no one would come pick me up. So I've made up my mind not to tell when I'll be home. I might accept the one week extension just to cool my head for awhile. Other than that, it's a Saturday. So it's laundry day for me. Lots of clothing to clean. Well I got a washing machine and dryer. Should be good enough but I need to iron my clothes afterwards. On the other end, Kuya Louie is asking me if I want to go swimming. I say "YES!". I miss the water. I want to go out and swim for awhile and get out of this room. Other than that, I asked a few of my officemates, so Grace said yes but dunno about the others. I might ask again later.

So far, I'm done with my laundry. Just need to dry the last set of clothes then I offered to go out. Mel and Uri wants to go to Mall of America, while I want to go to Maplewood. But I don't know. I want to go to both places to finally finish my shopping. Well, it's just the afternoon. A lot things can happen. So we'll find out on the way. Ok, lunch is ready. Gonna eat for awhile then bathe then start calling people. Later...

So it ended like this, we went out to Mall of America today. And tomorrow, we might go swimming if it doesn't rain.

I've been thinking lately of how alone I am and how I wished when I get home, someone will be there to meet me.

For some reason I got logged out in my blog. But anyhow, nothing much happened today. Mall, walked around, stayed, ate ice cream, that's about it. well, here's the song running in my head:

Trampling on the remains of a left-behind dream
The whimsical death god stopped and stood

Passing by, it watches me coldly
As if to instigate a foolish sin
It shook and untangled its outstretched hands

Devastating sadness
Overshadows my heart and
Is cruelly repeated over and over

We came to hate even those precious days we can’t return to
What can we do?
We didn’t understand the meaning
Of the glory we carried

The sensations that should have been cast away are resurrected
While clad in serenity
We accelerate and hide our irritations
Things like emotions are useless
But our hearts can’t catch up

The fallen angel swooped down on
The scenario of rebellion
Why are you outside the light?
I realized
If I hadn’t been born as I am,
Would I have been ridiculed?
Within in a selfless love
We don’t know things like solitude

I gazed into the distant sky
That reflected my nostalgia
But no matter how much I wish
I can’t be touched by eternity

I lost to my own darkness

Everyone who can stand is fighting
And carries unfading scars

Devastating sadness
Overshadows my heart and
Is cruelly repeated over and over

The stolen, fleeting light
Connects to the living proof
No matter the fate
I’ll accept it,
And live until the last moment


What's with this song? Well I'm kind of alone right now so I have to live with it for now.

Day 14: Going home alone...

Silent...

Everything was going well today. Projects completed, requests completed. I mean everything was going well. But when the wife called and talked to her. A few laughs and a few jokes. But when we got to the part of me wanting to see her home the whole day when I get home, it went sour.

All I hoped was then when I get home, I'd spend the entire day with my family. We also talked about it that I want to go home to my parents as the environment from her place is not something I liked. I feel irritated with the next door neighbors and I don't like their fake nice attitudes. It makes me more sick of thinking of going home there. Yes they're nice, only if you have. But when the time of need comes, they're gone faster than a blink of an eye.

it's been 2 weeks since I am here and surely any husband will long for his wife. But my wife had other plans which I don't want to impose. She told me she found a new place to work. I said go ahead. Don't let me stop her. Just go! But with that, it would mean she would go to a whole new training and may not have time to spend with me and my daughter when I get home. I just want her home the entire day. And if she can't, what can I do. Work comes first as we needed the financial aid as much as we can.

On the other end, I want to spend time with my parents and sister when I get home. So I think, I'd rather go home to my parents than go home. I just feel hurt knowing no one will come pick me. Yeah, who'll pick you up at 1 AM in the morning on a Monday. No one...

I'm tired. I'm going to bed...

Day 13: I'm no rocket scientist, I'm just human as the next person is.

Song: I wanna go to a place...
Rung by: Rie Fu

I wanted to go home but I have things to do here that are important and that meant to me a lot. My work is something I am proud of. And earlier today somehow I blamed and buried myself on a small human error. The entire morning til afternoon I was sulking like there's no tomorrow. I love my work. And I didn't want to lose it because of the small error I didn't see. I had lost my spunk. But this guy told me, even though I looked up to him as cause of problem for me, told me, he too makes the same mistakes. We're just human as the next person is. And with those small mistakes, it's what makes you do your good. Learn from it and live with it, another one said. And the best of all, if I continue to sulk over a small thing, it means I admit defeat to myself.

I wanted to go home on another part. Recently, I stopped blogging and skipped days 11 and 12 due to the fact that I've been very tired and exhausted. It's not that I am eating right, it's just that I am exhausted on getting my project completed. I miss my wife and my kids. But Daddy has to persevere and keep moving forward. It's a matter of being dedicated to job and making sure I bring home the ham to my family.

What I learned today are 2 valuable lesson:
1. Never sulk or dredge over small mistakes, learn from it, live with it.
2. Be thankful for the people that put their trust on you. They're your best allies and most of all keep up the good work.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I know I can put more effort to my work. And I will continue to make things better and never let it get to my head. Thanks!

Day 10: The Great Memorial day Mall Raid!

No Songs as I am just gonna make this quick. Pics are in facebook of what I bought. I owe Kuya Louie a lot of thanks. I want to add more but then I am so so sleepy and tired for the travel. *Sigh*

Day 9 - Flores de Mayo and the Filipino community

Song: Beautiful World
Sung By: Utada Hikaru



I woke following up on my previous blog. As I sat down on the sofa, eating a microwave lunch, Grace offered to go with her and attend the "Flores de Mayo" celebration near where we live. I said to myself why not rather playing all day and waiting for something to happen. And so I went. On the way there, I met this man, Roy, 5 years living in MN. They had a wonderful home. Small but it had a wonderful family inside. We drove a few minutes away and got to their home. There I met Maricel, Roy's wife. There daughter Jackie was preparing for the parade. The place where we went as peaceful that made me wish I could move here with my family. It was peaceful.

After all the preparations, we headed to church. But Incense is still bad for me. Dunno why but it really makes my head spin. We took a lot of pics of the place. And of the people. I met a few more people while we were there.

But honestly there are a lot things to talk about. I just don't seem to find the strength to continue. I'm gonna sleep early but probably when I do get the urge. I'd continue what I am to talk about this day. This day to me is very very eventful and a happy day.

Day 8 - Long weekends with Friends and Mall of America

Song: Complication
Sung By: Rookiez is Punk'd

Ok I owe myself an apology. I forgot to blog whatever transpired yesterday. I was so tired that bed + max = long straight snooze.

First thing first, I reconciled and asked to be forgiven. And she did. My wife has a big heart. And I love her for that. I cannot stay mad for so long on her. I can't. I really just can't. Half of my life now revolves around her. So everything is ok. We suggested not to argue while I am here. I pray it stays that way.

Secondly, I met the other people here in MN. Ok, so I am happier!

We went out to Mall of America and went on a shopping splurge. For once, I enjoyed my visit to Mall Of America. It was all me all alone before now, I have friends to enjoy the trip.

I finally bought the camera for my wife (Teal Colored). A Samsung SL605. So its a camera. Took pictures of some of the places. Might go out later and take more pics. On the other flat end. Hmmm... I think I took pics of the apartment I'm staying at and uploaded in facebook.

Ok, not much happened. It's the weekend. So later!