" You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
- Sir Robin Williams
Read the news today. It's kinda sad to hear that one with great humor was hiding an even greater sadness. That was the irony of things. You think that the man who had made many people laugh, made a lot of people smile, giggle and even burst into a flurry of laughs, was apparently carrying depression deeper than any of the people he had given hope and smile. As I sat down here, thinking, would one day I become one as well?
Sometimes (not everyone), we all have our own moments that we sit down and all of a sudden cry.
There was even a time that one of his best quotes made me think twice about my marriage. It made me think that I could be a better person. I would be lying if I didn't think of it before. Yet for my only daughter, it made me think twice why I have to keep my family safe. Even with this sadness that I carry.
Depression creeps on us like a cancer that if we do not treat it early, it would one day consume us and then the next thing you know, you could be meeting your Creator. I had my moments when I suddenly cry. I never told my wife about it as I never want to add more reason for her to worry. I never show my depression or my sadness to my wife. Thou it is my duty as a father, a husband to share to my wife how I feel sometimes. But even the greatest medicine could not cure depression especially when one reaches the tipping point of his or her life.
I would normally play video games to remove my worries and depression but after the games are done, it all comes back. I'm suffering badly from insomnia this past few months and that it is becoming worst and worst. It's not the games the keeps me up but the worry of tomorrow. How can I make my family get through this? Where will we get the resources for tomorrow or this week or next month? My wife had bigger plans and I know I'm ruining it for her.
There are even times I wish I was a better person, a better father/dad, a better brother or even a son. I've seen the worst of myself and I really wish I could make it up to them. I try not to tie myself down with all the worries I have and like I said, I have an outlet to keep my mind off at my worries.
Deep inside, I know, I can cure this depression of mine by changing how I look at things or how I carry myself and I also believe that it doesn't need for me to be alone to resolve this. I'm sharing this blog and dedicating this to both the great actor who had left us and to those still who think that depression would always be there. I believe that finding an outlet would be a good and that it would relieve you of your stress and depression. Sometimes, letting someone share your pain, would be good. I think I might do that tonight and tell her how I feel and maybe I could finally find a way to sleep better.
Like what the quote says above, we have one time to enjoy life, let us enjoy it to the fullest. I may not be giving the best advise but again, it's wrong to waste your life carrying that sadness forever. There's always a better tomorrow, not now, but some day.
Ah also, before I forget, to the person that one time, send a comment on my blog. Thanks for reading.
Again my thanks for taking time to read.
- Sir Robin Williams
Read the news today. It's kinda sad to hear that one with great humor was hiding an even greater sadness. That was the irony of things. You think that the man who had made many people laugh, made a lot of people smile, giggle and even burst into a flurry of laughs, was apparently carrying depression deeper than any of the people he had given hope and smile. As I sat down here, thinking, would one day I become one as well?
Sometimes (not everyone), we all have our own moments that we sit down and all of a sudden cry.
There was even a time that one of his best quotes made me think twice about my marriage. It made me think that I could be a better person. I would be lying if I didn't think of it before. Yet for my only daughter, it made me think twice why I have to keep my family safe. Even with this sadness that I carry.
Depression creeps on us like a cancer that if we do not treat it early, it would one day consume us and then the next thing you know, you could be meeting your Creator. I had my moments when I suddenly cry. I never told my wife about it as I never want to add more reason for her to worry. I never show my depression or my sadness to my wife. Thou it is my duty as a father, a husband to share to my wife how I feel sometimes. But even the greatest medicine could not cure depression especially when one reaches the tipping point of his or her life.
I would normally play video games to remove my worries and depression but after the games are done, it all comes back. I'm suffering badly from insomnia this past few months and that it is becoming worst and worst. It's not the games the keeps me up but the worry of tomorrow. How can I make my family get through this? Where will we get the resources for tomorrow or this week or next month? My wife had bigger plans and I know I'm ruining it for her.
There are even times I wish I was a better person, a better father/dad, a better brother or even a son. I've seen the worst of myself and I really wish I could make it up to them. I try not to tie myself down with all the worries I have and like I said, I have an outlet to keep my mind off at my worries.
Deep inside, I know, I can cure this depression of mine by changing how I look at things or how I carry myself and I also believe that it doesn't need for me to be alone to resolve this. I'm sharing this blog and dedicating this to both the great actor who had left us and to those still who think that depression would always be there. I believe that finding an outlet would be a good and that it would relieve you of your stress and depression. Sometimes, letting someone share your pain, would be good. I think I might do that tonight and tell her how I feel and maybe I could finally find a way to sleep better.
Like what the quote says above, we have one time to enjoy life, let us enjoy it to the fullest. I may not be giving the best advise but again, it's wrong to waste your life carrying that sadness forever. There's always a better tomorrow, not now, but some day.
Ah also, before I forget, to the person that one time, send a comment on my blog. Thanks for reading.
Again my thanks for taking time to read.
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