Day 7 - A long weekend...

Song: Yoru Tsuki
Sung By: Hoshimura Mai

One week has passed and 4 more to go. The days did flew by fast. But now, I'm starting not to miss home. It's kinda sad when I think of it. I don't want to go home. The only thing I miss now is, just my daughter. Nothing else. I really don't feel like sharing my thoughts right now but I think I had to let it out somewhere and probably this is the only place I can. No one would read this anyway and no one cared how I am actually. They'd just read it and that's it. Sucks. But then, who am I?

I don't like to argue. I'm not the kind of person who likes an argument. As much as I can avoid it I will. I don't like looking at the bad side of things but think there is always a positive side on things. I don't want to think of the problem I have but right now, I feel we still don't know each other well. Probably we would never understand each other. I really don't like to argue especially when you are arguing with someone who is half way across the country. I truly do not like it. I know I have my faults and I know I can't cover them. It's my fault. But I don't want to say I'm sorry. And I don't want her apology. That's all to it. I received her letter and answered. For the duration of my stay, I'll keep my loneliness to myself like before. I don't want to call home or answer to anyone. I'm shutting my world for now. Until I get back home. If that's what it takes to forget how things were between us. I'd want to forget it. Forget everything? Sigh... I'd honestly say, I feel miserable. Not because of the people around me but because of myself. There's no one to blame but me. And I guess being here could be a good punishment for me, exiled from the people I know. I'd prefer to think it that way. I'll try to forget things and more likely this won't go into facebook. This is a personal note on myself.

	English Translation
	Purity, more precious than anything, Once encountered, changes the world right before our eyes.
	The reason why we exist, In the past and in the future, Will surely be the same.
	On the night that I long for your love, The light of the moon shines through the window.
	Turning over the pages of my faded memories, I will open up all the feelings I tucked away.
	We possess weakness and fragility Yet we do not turn away our eyes Because of it.
	On the night that I wish for your happiness, The light of the moon flickers on the surface.

We possess weakness and fragility as the lyrics say. It is so true. We're not all strong. Even the strongest man cried. Jesus cried. Samson cried. I also cried. I'm not mr. perfect. And I don't know if the reason I was told for choosing me was something that would cheer me up.

As I read the letter, all I can feel was guilt. Why can't I be a better person? Why?

I don't know and for now, I'd park that question. I'm just tired...